This post is just as much a note for myself, as it is to someone who might find it useful.
I’ve been here for almost 5 years now, I can honestly say that I still feel lucky that I get to live here. Of course, I have my moments of defeat and negativity. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies over here. But I just wanna share what helped me cope.
Unfollow facebook group forums and angry expats
Unfollowing, doesn’t mean leaving the group. You could still visit this group and post questions and all. It’s just that, it’s better if you don’t see the problems or rants that most people post first thing in the morning. This one has proven to be helpful as it helps me feel detached. Each one has a need to vent or air their problems. And i’m the time to offer what I know or anything that I could help with but sometimes it’s better to not read it at the beginning of the day or when you’re not feeling so great. Also, some people like to complain and to blame others…this will only make you unhappy, so i’d say disengage and let them be.
Accept that the French are different
This is a common thing expats complain about even in Shanghai. They say how come the locals are this or that?! Ahhh!!! How would you feel if a foreigner comes in your country and expects you to act like them. It would be weird right? I think let them be French, see the patterns, learn how to adapt and move on.
Be Prepared and Updated
Ok a lot of frustration that I’ve sen so far is due to:
- Difficulty in getting appointments for visa or titre de sejour (you won’t believe how serious it is, some people are even selling visa appointments for 400 euros, while some present themselves as lawyer or “master” as they call them in the forums and say they could get you an earlier rendezvous or appointment, if you hire their services. – – 2 months before your visa expires, you can already ask for renewal or appointment.
- Lack of employment opportunities, maybe you could work freelance instead or build a small business
- Problem with inlaws, I think having a mindset that you won’t let them affect you, no matter what, helps.
- Relationship with their partner or husband
If you can plan or manage these situations well…you’re less likely to be unhappy here.
Build a life that you are happy with.
Why blame someone for everything that happens to you. I think the only thing we can control is ourselves. If we focus on things that help us grow or even things that make us smile we take things in stride and our struggle becomes less.